Once again I am visiting family and friends in my hometown of Boulder, once again I’m writing about letting go. With umbrella in hand, walking around neighborhoods that are still etched into my brain and heart and body, I’m noticing that the memories of growing up here are now like a well-loved movie seen many times, the low clouds and rain of this blustery May adding a softness to the edges of the scenes (“faded” was the word I used two years ago).
Even better is that each day spent here is utterly new and fresh. Not weighted with the more noir shades of old stories lived out in these streets and mountains. There is an anonymous quote that goes: “Place is an environment claimed by emotion.” I’m beginning to see that place is stronger than emotion, able to claim itself back from human feelings by the simple fact that stories—by the very nature of language—beg to be rewritten. When we tread with awareness our tales can dissolve into a thriving presence that fully embodies all that we’ve lived, wherever and however that life has unfolded.
After all, once vowing never to return, here I am. Sitting in our friends’ home, drinking green tea, listening to the clambering of squirrels on the trellis, watching the clouds descend over the Flatirons as the maple and cottonwood leaves flutter wildly with news of more rain. Soaking up this day, and wanting to share with you a quote by Emerson found by the phone in this welcoming house:
“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”
Old nonsense indeed…in need of continual letting go, letting go, letting go…allowing a continual letting in.